I have a question for you.
Who did you vote for this year for president?
No, I’m not trying to get into a political debate. But yes, I’m an Independent.
I’m independent about a lot of things, actually. Could be part of the reason my ex and I ended up being such a terrible match. He really wanted to control me, and I really wanted to be controlled about as much as I want him to run for president. I already don’t ever want to see him again, so why would I want to see his face plastered all over the next presidential billboard?
(Not that he would ever have a chance of winning or anything.) But that’s not the point.
The point is that I want to make sure you’re pulling for the right person. I want to make sure, at the end of the day, after all is said and done, that you’re pulling for the person whom you really, really want to win. The person whom you trust the most at the end of the day as you lay your pretty head down to sleep. The person whom you want to kick ass and take names. And, the person who is so fucking special that they deserve your very fucking special vote.
Because unless you’re pulling for the right person, honey, tomorrow could suck a big fat one. (And you and I both know that too many todays have sucked recently, too.)
So, who should you pull for? Who deserves your very effing special vote?
YOU DO. You deserve your own very effing special vote. My guess is that you haven’t been giving it to yourself lately. My guess is that you haven’t been pulling for yourself lately, either. My guess is that, instead, you’ve been pulling for your ex.
Why do I think this? Because you’ve given him the benefit of the doubt for way too long, and not standing up for yourself, either.
You’ve been making up excuses for what went wrong, and why he couldn’t give you what you need. You’ve been coming up with every reason under the sun for why he acted the way that he did, and what would be different if you got back together to try again. And, (heaven forbid), you’re actually believing him that things could be different, if only you’d give him another chance.
Basically, you’ve been giving him your very special vote, when what you should be doing is giving it to yourself. You should be giving yourself that special vote of yours, because you and your needs are what now matter the most.
It’s time you stood up for yourself, sister. It’s time you stopped making excuses for your ex. It’s time that you realize you deserve more. It’s time that you take a stand for yourself and your future and declare what it is that you want. What it is that you need. And what it is that you are unwilling to ever deny yourself of in a relationship again.
Here’s a little exercise for you today:
1. Take a piece of paper and write down all of the ways you made excuses for your ex- why he didn’t have the time for you, why he said mean things to you, why he cheated on you, etc.
2. Next, take the list and make declaration statements pertaining to your future. For example, “I will never get into another relationship with a man who doesn’t have time for me.”
3. Then, turn those declaration statements into a descriptive story of what you want from the next handsome hunk who’s lucky enough to have you. (i.e. My next handsome hunk will have more than enough time for me. He’s the sweetest, more consider man in the world. I am constantly fulfilled in the relationship. If people only knew how good he is in bed, I’d probably have to beat other women off with a stick. Etc, etc.)
So…What are YOUR thoughts? Please leave a comment below! I can’t wait to read it and reply back to you.
Author | Speaker | Relationship Coach
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