Who else has ever slept with a man and then they disappeared?
It’s infuriating, isn’t it?
You open your heart and your soul (and a particular one of your lady parts) in an effort to get closer to your man…
Only to have it all backfire in the end as he starts to pull slowly (or maybe even quickly!) away.
Why is it that, after such an intimate, heart and soul opening sex experience, that a man pulls away so damn quickly?
Running from what felt so good, so connected. so…RIGHT.
And there you are…
Raw, open, vulnerable.
Screaming inside…Both at him for his blatant disconcert with your sexual emotion and at yourself for letting him in.
You wait for him to call, but nothing.
You’re fuming embarrassed. You’re confused. You’re fuming…DYING even.
You’re impatience and intolerance gets the very best of you, so you send a text.
When your text goes unanswered, you send another and then another.
When all three text have been so hurtfully ignored, you call.
He doesn’t answer.
By this time, you’re so angry and resentful that your voicemail reeks of both.
But you don’t realize this and leave it anyhow. And even if you do realize it, you don’t really care.
He’s ignoring you after you opened yourself up in the most intimate, vulnerable way…And he doesn’t effing care enough to check in with you.
Because, after all, your raw, vulnerable, emotional state is what matters, right? It’s normal and natural for you to need your man right now…for you to need him to call you and touch base with you and to continue to be intimate with you through conversation and contact and making more plans with you right away.
But this article isn’t being written to shed light about what’s normal and natural for you.
Because you already know that this is normal and natural. You already know that being intimate with a man makes you want to continue to be intimate.
You already know that opening yourself up to a man results in you wanting to keep opening yourself and for them to follow suit.
So I’m not going to spend anymore time right now explaining this fact.
What I am going to do, however, is help you understand why your man (or your ex man…and any other man that you chose to be with in the future) ISN’T going to feel the same way after sex.
Unlike you…The fabulous, feminine woman that you are…Unlike you, men do not feel the need to get closer after sex.
They do, however, feel the need to get farther away.
Yes…Men pull away after sex in order to regain their autonomy and reconnect with themselves on a more masculine level. They actually need to do this.
Men go through a type of intimacy cycle that we women do not need, nor do we understand or relate to it either.
Men, by nature, feel an innate need to pull away from us periodically after periods of intimacy. Just like it’s natural for us to want to get closer to them after being intimate, it’s JUST as natural from them to want to pull away for a while.
All men are different, of course. Some will pull away right away, and others will be able to remain close and intimate for some time before feeling the need to disappear for a while and regain their autonomy through reconnecting with their masculine selves.
But no matter the man, the cycle is present.
And the sooner that you start to realize this intimacy cycle, understand this intimacy cycle, and accept this intimacy cycle…The easier (and more fulfilling) your relationships will be with men.
Realizing, understanding, and accepting this is, of course, only half the battle.
Knowing what to do in the face of this situation is the other half.
Because texting and calling and doing all of these other “chasing” type behaviors isn’t going to help the situation. Instead, these types of chasing behaviors are only going to exacerbate the situation….And possible lead to the demise of your relationship.
So…What are YOUR thoughts? Please leave a comment below! I can’t wait to read it and reply back to you.
Author | Speaker | Relationship Coach
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