Today I’ve decided to discuss a very common question that I get asked several times per week by people reading my blog.
“How can I stop thinking about my ex?”
This is the single most common question that I get asked… And it’s also the question that I asked MYSELF over and over when I was going through my own breakup.
At first, I didn’t know how to stop. I was absolutely consumed with thoughts of my ex, and I could hardly get anything else done.
All I knew is that I could be driving down the street… and then, BAM! Just like lightening… a memory of my ex would strike, taking me all the way back in time to that very moment itself. And every time it happened, it was terribly painful and awfully sad.
I’ve talked and emailed with thousands of other women going through breakups…
And I’ve found out that “not being able to stop thinking about him” is not only extremely common, it’s also what most women are saying is the hardest part of a breakup.
If you’re anything like the women I’ve been speaking to, you know what I’m taking about. You wake up thinking about him. You think about the moment you first met, or the first time you make love.
For me, my mind would always take me back to the moment that my ex proposed to me…. and every time I thought about it, I would start to cry.
The amount of time that you spend thinking about your ex will start to diminish over time…. but there ARE ways that you can help speed up the process.
As you know, you think a lot. In fact, the average person has between 50,000 and 70,000 thoughts per day. Break that down into minutes, and you’re having 35-48 thoughts every 60 seconds. When you’ve just gone through something as traumatic as a breakup, it’s VERY possible that most of those thoughts include your ex — what went wrong, what you could have done to save the relationship, why he left, why he cheated, what’s going to happen to you, etc.
It really is no wonder why we feel so terrible during a breakup! We’re quite literally thinking about something painful all darn day.
The best remedy for this pain is to come up with something to “replace” all of these thoughts with, since it’s a guarantee that your brain isn’t going to stop thinking anytime soon. I teach you how to do this inside my Breakup Recovery System — a unique and proven system to help you stop thinking about your ex, take your power back, and rebuild your life.
Inside the program, I walk you step-by-step through a healing process that I created specifically to help you replace painful thoughts about your ex with happier, healthier thoughts about yourself and your future.
When you use this system, you’ll also be repairing and rewiring some of your limiting beliefs — subconsciously beliefs that you have that get in your way of attracting (and maintaining!) the right relationship for you. It’s truly miraculous to witness the woman who’ve taken my course. They’ve gone on to find greater love with even more amazing men — all as a result of “doing the work.”
Now, don’t let the word “work” scare you. What I teach inside this program is a whole heck-of-a-lot easier that losing 10 pounds or training for a 10K. It’s also a much easier alternative to being in pain. Trust me, I’ve been there. Thinking about my ex all the time got in my way of experiencing happiness again, until I decided to do something about it and start to heal.
Don't worry. Your email (and your heart) are safe with me.
I have lingering flashbacks of my ex. I loved her so much and cared for her. I took care of her and trested her like a queen. Then she cheated on me and I caught them and since then ive never been the same. The memories of the good time we had were good but I gave so much just to be treated oike a used sponge. It hurts and haunts still and I just wish……. it would stop, the memories.
I have lingering flashbacks of my ex. I loved her so much and cared for her. I took care of her and trested her like a queen. Then she cheated on me and I caught them and since then ive never been the same. The memories of the good time we had were good but I gave so much just to be treated oike a used sponge. It hurts and haunts still and I just wish……. it would stop, the memories.
This was actually very helpful and just what I was looking for. Thanks for this article.
Something similar happened to me. I was dating this one long distance guy and before I knew it I met this other guy and we went to school together and we started talking over Facebook. And then me and him started dating. A couple months later I had to break it off with guy #1 because I asked my best friend what to do in my situation because I liked both of them. My friend had a crush and was friends with #2 so she ended up getting mad because I betrayed guy #2. She ended up being fake and now trying to break me and guy #2 up now since me and him are going steady. So needless to say, me and her broke off our friendship. Me and guy #2 made up and now we’re okay.
I guess you could say Karma got me, haha. This is where it gets worse. Guy #1 used to talk to me when we decided to just be friends after I told both of them what happened and the mistake I made (And highly regret). We started talking for a few months after I told him what happened but, he just ignored me all of a sudden starting a couple days ago and I don’t blame him. Maybe it is for the best. Guy #1 and I have talked over text and Skype for 4 years. It just sucks because I have all of these memories with him and I wouldn’t mind having him in my life as a friend, but I need to realize that I did it to myself and I need to deal with my consequences.
And it is painful, all these memories in the summer I remember we would look up at the stars wondering what it would be like if we were looking at the same ones from where I am in Ohio to where he is in Texas. That’s one I can’t get out of my head. And songs on my playlist that he dedicated to me just make me want to shed a tear. Painful ones I can’t forget.
But, like you said I just have to replace them with new ones and it will take some time. This summer my current boyfriend (Guy #2) and I are going to do a lot of activities since he lives out in the country like fishing, swimming, go on nature walks, etc. I can’t wait till then because then it’ll give me a fresh start and fresh memories. Oh. and I’m 16 by the way. 😛
Anyways, Thanks, this article helped majorly!
This was actually very helpful and just what I was looking for. Thanks for this article.
Something similar happened to me. I was dating this one long distance guy and before I knew it I met this other guy and we went to school together and we started talking over Facebook. And then me and him started dating. A couple months later I had to break it off with guy #1 because I asked my best friend what to do in my situation because I liked both of them. My friend had a crush and was friends with #2 so she ended up getting mad because I betrayed guy #2. She ended up being fake and now trying to break me and guy #2 up now since me and him are going steady. So needless to say, me and her broke off our friendship. Me and guy #2 made up and now we’re okay.
I guess you could say Karma got me, haha. This is where it gets worse. Guy #1 used to talk to me when we decided to just be friends after I told both of them what happened and the mistake I made (And highly regret). We started talking for a few months after I told him what happened but, he just ignored me all of a sudden starting a couple days ago and I don’t blame him. Maybe it is for the best. Guy #1 and I have talked over text and Skype for 4 years. It just sucks because I have all of these memories with him and I wouldn’t mind having him in my life as a friend, but I need to realize that I did it to myself and I need to deal with my consequences.
And it is painful, all these memories in the summer I remember we would look up at the stars wondering what it would be like if we were looking at the same ones from where I am in Ohio to where he is in Texas. That’s one I can’t get out of my head. And songs on my playlist that he dedicated to me just make me want to shed a tear. Painful ones I can’t forget.
But, like you said I just have to replace them with new ones and it will take some time. This summer my current boyfriend (Guy #2) and I are going to do a lot of activities since he lives out in the country like fishing, swimming, go on nature walks, etc. I can’t wait till then because then it’ll give me a fresh start and fresh memories. Oh. and I’m 16 by the way. 😛
Anyways, Thanks, this article helped majorly!
hey i am going through a breakup i am having thoughts about him and i don’t know hoe to stop it and it hurts because i have been told he cheated on me but i just don’t know what to do
Hi! I’m so sorry to hear about this. I’m happy to help. Did you get my free videos yet? They will help you. go here – http://www.breakupsareabitch.com/free
hey i am going through a breakup i am having thoughts about him and i don’t know hoe to stop it and it hurts because i have been told he cheated on me but i just don’t know what to do
Hi! I’m so sorry to hear about this. I’m happy to help. Did you get my free videos yet? They will help you. go here – http://www.breakupsareabitch.com/free
I was in a relationship engaged to be married when my ex of 2yrs just changed, I couldn’t put up with his moods and selfishness he tried to control me, which I was noway going to let happen so I finished with him, after a month apart he said he was sorry and wanted to give it another go only to find out he was still two faced and just wanted to use me for sex to which I said no im not desperate, blocking his number and erasing him out of my life but why do I feel so down I just want to get over this pain, can’t believe I fell in love with a man so horrid just feel used and the 2yrs we was together was a sham.
I am so sorry to hear this! How terrible. Well, you’ve found a place where all of this is very understood. I’ve helped thousands of people around the world heal and find their happy again. I would love you to meet them! We are all in a very private online group – everyone who has used my healing system. Take a look at it here – http://ellensmoak.com/products/get-over-a-breakup/. And let me know how else I can help. Sending love! Ellen
I was in a relationship engaged to be married when my ex of 2yrs just changed, I couldn’t put up with his moods and selfishness he tried to control me, which I was noway going to let happen so I finished with him, after a month apart he said he was sorry and wanted to give it another go only to find out he was still two faced and just wanted to use me for sex to which I said no im not desperate, blocking his number and erasing him out of my life but why do I feel so down I just want to get over this pain, can’t believe I fell in love with a man so horrid just feel used and the 2yrs we was together was a sham.
I am so sorry to hear this! How terrible. Well, you’ve found a place where all of this is very understood. I’ve helped thousands of people around the world heal and find their happy again. I would love you to meet them! We are all in a very private online group – everyone who has used my healing system. Take a look at it here – http://ellensmoak.com/products/get-over-a-breakup/. And let me know how else I can help. Sending love! Ellen