Let’s be honest.
Being dumped is probably the most rejecting feeling in the entire world.
You were once the center of your ex’s world.
You were once the person they showed off to all of his friends.
You were once the person they felt so lucky to have found.
You were once the only person they could see in his future.
Which is why, after being dumped (and after your self-esteem has been crushed), you should absolutely have a rebound relationship.
Now, I don’t want you to confuse this with having what I like to call a “Replacement Relationship.” A replacement relationship is when you haven’t yet released your feelings of rejection from your ex, and you attach yourself to someone new in hopes that this new man will somehow magically rebuild your self-esteem that was so significantly damaged when you were dumped.
No. I’m not promoting this kind of unhealthy behavior in the least. Before you can have a healthy (and often very satisfying rebound relationship), you must first mend your broken heart and rebuild your self-esteem on your own.
How do you do this?
You rebuild your self-esteem by realizing that being dumped isn’t something that you should take personally.
Nothing that anyone ever “does” to you should ever be taken personally, actually. Everyone is entitled to make their own decisions and live their own lives. It’s up to us to accept that they (and their decisions) are separate from us and separate from our own self-worth.
When you stop taking things personally, you can begin to take control over your own self-esteem and self-worth. No one can affect how you feel about yourself, unless, of course, you let them. Your ex made a decision that his life (and yours) were not in alignment anymore. Your ex made a decision to go in a separate direction for his own benefit, not because you’re not worth being with.
But, let’s be honest. (Again.) Getting attention from others feels really, really good. But again, if you let your self-esteem increase or decrease based on the love and attention that you get from others, you’re just setting yourself up to be hurt again.
Which is why, before you head into another relationship, you need to evaluate your motivations and intentions first.
Make sure you aren’t just looking for someone to replace the love and attention that you received from you ex. If you are, don’t do it. Take a little more time to evaluate yourself and your self-esteem before jumping into someone else’s arms (or into their bed).
If you can honestly tell yourself that you’re self-esteem is in tact, then go for it, girl. Find a new date (someone with different qualities than your ex would be optimal), and have a rebound relationship.
A rebound relationship is very different than a replacement relationship. The word “rebound” literally means “To spring or bounce back after hitting or colliding with something.”
(And I’m pretty sure that being dumped is like you had just collided with a Mac Truck, yes?)
So you do want to bounce back and get over your ex, right? Well, then, get your badass self off the couch and find a hot rebound relationship. You deserve it after all you’ve been through. You deserve to be adored. You deserve to be admired. And you deserve to be treated to something extra special, too.
Screw what the other “experts” say when they tell you not to rebound.
What they should be telling not to do is not to try and replace your ex or replace your self-esteem with someone new. As long as you’ve realized that this is impossible (and spent some time strengthening your self-esteem on your own), then there’s absolutely nothing wrong with finding an awesome man to rebound with.
Just make sure you’re up front and honest with him from the beginning about where you’re at in your breakup process. You’re probably not ready to dive into something serious after just one date. And you probably need to take it slow, just in case you incorrectly accessed yourself and the current state of your self-esteem.
If you have, take a step back to evaluate your feelings and decide what’s best for you. The goal with a rebound relationship is to bounce back after your devastating, painful collision with your ex’s heart. The goal is no to recreate the past and have it happen all over again.
You’ve been rejected once recently. Don’t be rejected twice when you show up to a new relationship still carrying your bruised self-esteem on your shoulder.
So. Have a rebound relationship. (Or three.) As long as you’re not trying to replace anything (or anyone), a rebound relationship is just what your inner badass needs to bounce back and move on. Have fun, hot stuff.
So…What are YOUR thoughts? Please leave a comment below! I can’t wait to read it and reply back to you.
Author | Speaker | Relationship Coach
P.S. Get my free video series “How to beat your broken heart BEFORE it beats YOU!” for free by clicking here. In this series, you’ll learn: How to know if your ex is your soulmate, The biggest mistake most people make to get over their ex, and How to stop thinking about your ex all the time, move on, and be free! Get your free videos right here.